Setting the Stage:For some, family life may be picture perfect in a 'Leave it to Beaver' style. For others, family life falls into the tragic category of 'disaster'. If my family fell somewhere in between, it tended to lean toward the latter. As time progressed it become obvious that something had to change:
- Dad spent his days watching TV.
- While mom worked to pay the bills and feed the family.
- My little sister - Katlynn - was in the height of her rebellion!
- Dad's spirituality was nominal at best, as filthy language and excuses to skip church increased.
- Mom tried desperately hard to maintain her faith and her family.
- Katlynn wasn't sure that God existed and simply didn't care - church was out of the question.
- Dad tried to be Katlynn's 'best friend' and actually sided with her against mom.
- Mom tried desperately hard to 'parent' Katlynn, but because she worked so much, she could not do it without dad's help - he was no help!
- Katlynn was skipping school, sneaking out of the house at night to do drugs and building unhealthy relationships with boys - she was only 13!
SOMETHING HAD TO CHANGE!
My mother was compelled to make one of the most difficult choices of her life - dad had to go. This did not mean divorce, what it was was tough love. It was not just for mom's sake, or for Katlynn's sake either, no, it was for dad's sake also. Dad had to change.
And change he did.
Dad began going to church three times a week, and because he had no means of transportation he would take the city bus, even at night, even in the cold (I doubt I would have the same level of committment!) - as a matter of fact, often getting off of work I would see my dad waiting for the bus at night and would give him a lift to his little run down apartment, I miss not seeing him standing at that bus stop as I drive by.
Dad began reading his bible regularly and did devotions every day. In short, he fully realized his desperate need for God in his life and His transforming power. As a result he turned his affections and attention over to winning his wife - my mom - back! He began to wooo her like teenagers or young love birds - and what's more... she gladly (though slightly cautiously) let him. Furthermore, he began to take his responsibility toward Katlynn seriously; and in it all, all three of their lives changed drastically, for the better, for the glory of God.
It would have probably been only a matter of months before they were all living under one roof again - before dad would be living with mom again - when the great tragedy of his heart attack abruptly ended it all.
It was during this period of separation and - simultaneously - of reconciliation, that dad wrote mom an incredibly transparent - the most transparent a letter can be - love note. Then dad stuffed this note in the bottom of a box, never - for whatever reason - having actually given it to the recipient, to his love, to my mom.
It was not until after the funeral, while going through what little items dad actually possessed, that this love note came to light. It's relevance is astounding, it could very well have been written some three weeks before he passed - if it weren't dated.
I use this note - this beautiful love letter of sin and pain, yet of love and reconciliation - by permission. What's to come is dad's final message, his final act of parenthood, his final gift to those he left behind.
Yes it is addressed to mom, but in a way - perhaps a mystical way - it is telling of the rest of us: "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" and then also; "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation."
Thanks dad... - the letter to follow...
Derek.
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